Opinion piece #1-Self esteem

Well this is the first of hopefully many. The subject is “People’s reaction to positive comments� It all started off one day when I was thinking about people getting told that they looked handsome or beautiful. I was surprised at this persons reaction, it was unusual cause I thought that they would have heard that sorta stuff lots before and grown used to taking the compliment. I then proceeded to ask a few more people, it ended up being a common thread.

The question that I asked was:

“What would be your first reaction if a gal or guy came up and said “your an attractive man/ woman“?

Sounds like a bit of a funny question to ask, but I do wonder why the majority of people said “fuck off� or “your joking� kind or responses. Some started out saying this response and then moved on to a “oh, really thanks� answer. I enjoy seeing why people don’t like to value themselves when having to take compliments.

The people that I asked were a bit taken aback at first, not sure what to say. It took them a few seconds to comprehend what I had asked. Then came response and after that the question- Why do you want to know? I usually had a little chuckle, cause of human nature’s inquisitive side. My answer was simple, I’m conducting a survey for my blog opinion piece.

I like to make people think, by asking these types of questions. I am getting more interested in peoples reactions. People intrigue me.

I feel as though society has judged us and told us not to value ourselves. It is along the lines of the tall poppy syndrome. Stand out from the pack and you will get cut down. I wonder though, in this regard what is wrong with giving and receiving a compliment? It is not like you are excelling at doing a “task�, you haven’t committed any physical energy into be good looking (except maybe makeup and clothes). It is also a person’s personal point of view if you are good looking. This can be seen in models, I don’t think that they are all good looking, but some do. You can’t change your looks without surgery so why knock good-looking people? Not their fault.

All thru the last years that I can remember, I have received many compliments, but have forgotten most of them thru not believing them. Thinking that I was/am worth nothing is a strong theme in my family. I want to break that, turn it around. I do matter and by god I want all to know. One reason for this blog. It has taken me a few months to try and turn my thinking around, from a negative point of view, to a more positive one. Sure there are times that I still lapse back into negative view.

I think that is another reason for saying negative comments about yourself, when compliments are given. Self-belief. If you believe that you are worth nothing, then that comes across when others value you. Putting yourself down is a prime example of that. It is hard to build self-belief/self esteem. You have to believe your own hype to an extent. Listen to the people around you like your close friends and family. That is the only way that you can build a solid foundation in my books. Whilst I have put self-belief and self esteem in the same basket, they are still different. Just closely related.

Believe your friends and family for they are the ones that know the real you, Champions.

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3 Responses to Opinion piece #1-Self esteem

  1. Kitta says:

    So Luke, what would be your first reaction if a girl came up to you and said “you’re an attractive man”?

  2. admin says:

    Well i think at first it would be shock, but i would say “Really?” then later would come, “Thanks” but i would be shy about it.

  3. Mumsy wumsy says:

    I like the idea that we can give and receive from those who know and love us – whether it be a positive praise type thing or a bit of advice or reflection back to us on how we have affected them… and even more that we can know we are loved for WHO we are, not just how we look or what job we do…when I go shopping, I always like to tell the salesperson if they have done a good job, just as equally if I think they have done a crap job..”cos I’d noticed that most folks just complain about the bad stuff but forgot to notice the good stuff…I’ve also banned “not bad” from my list of answers to questions…firstly ‘cos it’s a non answer, it’s negative and says that I can’t be bothered to be honest with the person who bothered to ask…so, I guess what i’m saying is that this negativity stuff is soemthing that I’ve been trying to turn around too. I love seeing you come out and be positive Luke. Keep going

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