Gussy’s Blog

Dad after his surgery

Originally uploaded by The Gussy.

Things went better than expected with dad’s surgery. They couldn’t tell the difference between tumour and brain. Which i hear is a good thing. We now have to wait until the biopsies come back before we can get our hopes up really high. At the moment i’m dreaming that this could be all over. He has a giant horse shoe shaped scar from one side of his ear to the other, held in with staples. I haven’t seen it cause well i will feel ill.

One thing that has come out of this is how strong family really is. It is awesome. It is also proving hard for me to say “I love you” to my dad. I can say “Yeah same” when he says it to me, but the other way is just hard. Its not that i don’t love him. I do, he is my dad. Why wouldn’t i love him? Just those words get stuck in my throat. It is just a guy thing? Do chicks have the same problem? I’m not sure, all i know is that i want to thank everyone for there support. It has been amazing, the words from you have kept me going. So thanks! Lets hope that things keep going up from here!

Well things are getting better. If you could say that about Brain Tumors. Dad has been in Hospital since Tuesday, not cause he is sick or feeling unwell. Nope, just to hold his bed. Ya’ gotta fight the sick off with people that look fit and well. He is in Sir Charles Gardiner Hospital, getting A class meals. Better than home cooked, so i hear. (I gotta get me some of that!! :P)

He is having a Operation to try and remove most of the tumor on Tuesday next (27th June). Going to take about 3-4 hrs. Then he goes into Intensive care for a bit then we start on the Radio/Chemotherapy. The Dr sounds really nice. There is a possiblity that he might become a Hemiplegic. Not looking forward to that, if it happens. Dr it possitive though.
I haven’t visited dad in hospital yet. I’m hoping to on Sunday, all things working out nicely with work. I don’t know if i can be strong enough too. Its funny how the brain works (when there isn’t bad things in there) i feel like it is releasing enough information for me to handle at a time. The whole thing is so large, and so fast. I feel overwhelmed with it all, i still have to do the whole “breathe” thing, Just to get thru the day. We will see what tomorrow holds, and deal with that when it comes.

People think i’m weird. I still smile, about what is going on. Not like i want my dad to die. That isn’t meant to happen for many years. God willing it will be years. I just know that everything is being done that is humanly possible. If (unfortunately) it’s time, then its time. It will suck more than my heart and head can take, but it will have happened for a reason. Make me a stronger person, and i will grow from it. I already know that we as a family have said things to each other that haven’t been said before.

Like my mum- ” I just wanted to say how much I appreciate all you kids - it has been so wonderful for both dad and I to see what had been built into you - the lovely caring wonderful people that you have each become. It has been a blessing to us to see how each of you has responded to this crappy situation. Each, in your own unique ways, have given your love and support and care to us and we are so grateful for each one of you. Thank you my lovelies. “

Until next update, i’ll try and get away from sad stuff. Just it dominates so much at the moment. You understand.

Me and Lauren

Originally uploaded by The Gussy.

So this is a photo of me and my Girlfriend at Kings Park. It was a great day, i managed to spill Champagne on myself about 3 times. I’m so co-ordinated

( I hate my slitty eyes, but it is the best shot i have)

Well things have been busy for me over the last little bit of the week. Let me explain.

Monday- Worked with a cracking headache. Lauren (my Girlfirend) came over, and cooked dinner. Awesome.

Tuesday- Took off work, cause i still had massive headache. Cooked my sister dinner at her place. (She lives alone ATM in the family home) Got an awesome massage from Lauren. Helped a bit, but was still there.
Wednesday- Took off work again, cause of the massive headache that was still present. Went to Dr’s. She said that it was a “stress’ headache. (I kind of knew that, but wanted to be doubly sure, she even offered doing scans to put my mind at ease.) Met up with Lauren in the city. Was short but sweet. Got cooked dinner, it rocked again.

So if you didn’t know, i am a bit of a stressed chicken at the moment. So much so it is making me not able to work. Personally i think that im trying to see as many Dr’s as dad is, somehow i think i am loosing.

How am i going? Getting there. Things are hard, people are being really helpful and friendly. I dont think it would be the same over in Sydney or any other Capital city really. Perth is a speical place. Dad and Mum are coming home on Saturday night, so i am picking them up. It will be a bit weird, knowing that things have happened, but not being “their” and “apart of it” so to speak. Least i get to drive dad’s Honda I have shirked most job responsibilty for the weekend.

I know that this is a bit of a rambling entry, and i normally don’t write like this. Meh, something new. Anyhoo, i managed to speak to Dad the other night. Wasn’t as freaky or weird as i thought it would be. Sure he was “out of it” a bit, not nearly as much as i thought he would be. I was thinking it would be like talking to someone that wouldn’t know who i was, it wasn’t. He was still himself, just saying some funny/ weird things. Like “there is something wrong up there”… and then correcting himself saying it is a tumor. I think mum “reminded” him. I had to crack the joke about him becoming more like mum though, i don’t think he got it. (Mum doesn’t remember things well, even her kids names!!) Overall it was a good chat, just wish i could have given him a big hug.

My sister has written a Medical Jargon update. For those that are interested.Should know more news for you later on.

Today is my Mum and Dad’s 32nd Wedding Anniversary.

Now things are not going according to plan. It was meant to just be a stroke. But at the moment it is turning a whole lot more sour. Dad has had MRI’s, CAT scans, the works. The results? FUCKED. It looks like and inoperable brain tumour at the base of his brain. Hurrah!(Note: Sarcasm!!) 52, and struck down with that. I don’t know many details at the moment. Like what it is called or where abouts in the brain it is, apart from location. The stupid thing is that in Sydney it is a public holiday on Monday, and he can’t be seen until Tuesday. Mmm, i know that Dr’s have lives, but you would think that at least 1 Neurosurgeon would be on call. Luckly my Dr Sister, is over there, throwing her weight around. Funny thing is that she is training to be a surgeon. More renal stuff I hear.
Thanks for all your prays etc, it means heaps. My Girlfriend has been awesome thru it all. She has let me cry on her shoulder many a time. I asked her today if it was all a dream, like an episode of House. Unfortunately not, bugger!

I so wanted to fly over yesterday and just give him a hug and tell him to be strong. SMS just doesn’t do it right. We have decided that if he is going under the knife that we will all fly over. Bugger saving for Canada, family is more important.

I tend to have moments when im all together and stoic. Then other moments i fall apart. A song, a thought, anything can set me off. Guys aren’t meant to be this emotional! Damn it!! yeah right, anyone that can handle this without crying or getting upset, is not in the real world.

So i wait and see what will happen till Tuesday. It is going to be the longest 2 days i think i have ever had to face. I can do it. (That last bit was more for me, positive re-enforcement)

Some not to good news to report. My dad has just had a stroke. He is over in Sydney for my Grandpa’s 80th birthday celebration. I’m really worried, like so worried i don’t know what to do. I want to be there, but can’t (plus it takes 4 hrs on a plane). My sister, who is a doctor is over there, and he is being transferd by CHOPPER!! to the nearest awesome hospital (Royal North Shore). He is talking weird, cause the stroke was in the speech and recognition part of the brain. It is still not getting blood. This is some 3 hrs after it happened to start with. It is going to be a long road back to recovery. Im not sure what to do. Can you please do what ever you do, pray, give thanks to the greek gods, buddha- whatever. I just hope that he is going to be ok and that he will get back to the way that he was before. It is going to be hard, i don’t know what i would do without him. Why does it take something like this to happen to realise how much you love someone.

Love ya dad. Always will.

In new news i now have a Girlfriend. She is awesome. In the first 2 weeks we have been together, we have bought a house, had 3 kids, bought a house full of Ikea furniture and set plans for our around the world trip. Fairly productive i would say.

As before, i did ask her if she wanted to be my “girlfriend”, i was a bit slow on that though… it took me a week to ask her officially. I just assumed. Oh well its all good and offical now. OH Yeah!!!