Well it has been an interesting few weeks since leaving the sunny comforts of Perth, Australia. I’m now living in Golden, Canada. The temperature difference is something to behold. When i arrived in Golden it was a chilly, -11. It then warmed up to a humid -8 where it has basically hovered around for the last few days of being here. Let me try and organise my thoughts, they are all scatter brained at the moment. Sugar usually helps, but seeing as i was just in America, the land of sugar and sweeteners. I think im going to have to take a small break from them. I don’t think i have seen so many lollies (Sweets, candies etc) in my life. A whole aisle full, of individual bars, 10 shelves high, it was crazy. They are not normal size packets either, they are jumbo, extra large, grande ones. It is not good. Anyhow apart from that deviation where was I? Oh yeah that is right, i was talking about something important. It all started when i left New Zealand. (Damn Beth Orton, she makes me think) It was really tough leaving Mum and Dad.
To know that it might be the last time that i see dad in a good state. It is going to be a tough 6 months not seeing him. I’m going to get thru it though (Positive affirmation always helps). I saw Mum and Dad both crying and i thought to myself that i need to hold it together. I need to be strong and not cry. It did partly work. I had it caught in my throat, it slipped out a little, when i was driving off. I think everyone knew what i was feeling though. I was very quiet in the car driving away up to Hamilton. I knew that it would be the last time that i would see dad for a while but i still couldn’t say it. It is not like i didn’t want too. I sure did, but somehow i thought that it would be hollow if i did. I know personally that it is a load of garbage to speak like that, but that is what was running around my head. It sounds stupid to think like that now. I’m stuck looking at these words, in a state of numbness and frustration. Not knowing how to express thru my fingers how i feel right now. They have always helped me in get out what i feel, but now they are deserting me. I left this entry for a few days, hoping to find out what i feel. It hasn’t helped.
I know that the next few months for me are going to shape the way i approach the rest of my life. The way i tackle hard situations. The way i think. The way i feel. The way i interact with the whole human race. It is going to be a daunting but hopefully an exciting time. There is so much to look forward to. I was think that this was going to be a bigger entry. I suppose that i have said enough for now. It might become a bit of dribble, slowly coming out over the next few weeks.