So this week for me has been a week full of thinking. What have i been thinking about. Well i have been thinking that i don’t want a mediocre relationship. Not that i have one, but i don’t want something that just trudges along. I value both parties to much to do something like that. I want to know that i am valued by and value the lady that i love.
What brought this around? Well i was meant to tell my boss this week that i am leaving, and that i am moving down to the coast. I feel bad having to tell him that i am now leaving. It is kind of a sucky move. I am looking for a replacement now for me. It is hard to find people in this town.
Also another thing that might have brought this on was, watching Family Practice, the spin off from Grey’s Anatomy. So i was watching the episode that the two black people had just broken up. They were wondering if they should be together, and the guy came to the conclusion that he only wanted to be with her cause it was easy. That he was only with her before cause they had a kid together and things were simple and no worries etc. I think that is the message they were trying to put anyhow.
I really do love this town, Golden. It has a special place in my heart and i will miss it immensely. I know almost 1/3 of the people here, and feel like i am a real part of the community. Like i can make a difference. Something that i have never felt before in any other town that i have lived in. In one regard i don’t want to leave as i wonder if i will still like Canada as much as i do now.
I am trying to think of reasons why i am scared. I think that with saying that i am leaving work, that it all becomes real. That i am moving for love, to follow my heart. Something i really haven’t done in, well ever. I have said it many times, but this time it feels different. That scares me. What does the future hold for me? I am not sure, i don’t even want to think about it at the moment. I am only looking to the next even, moving to Victoria, BC. That is far enough for me to be thinking.